saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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