I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
