Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
