I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
