Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
