You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
