and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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