lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
