her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i out mim tonsoeep
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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