Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
