I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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