Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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