i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
