when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
