Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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