can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
