i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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