YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
