WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
