I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
