if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
