so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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