I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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