Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
