just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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