mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
