turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
