summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
