I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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