Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this boner is exhausting
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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