Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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