so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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