I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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