theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
