I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
