I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
