Where did you get a picture of my penis
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Randomize
