Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
