Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
