Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you never un-have a 4some
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
