problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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