census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
