Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
a search helicopter?!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
