fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
