i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pants are for mortals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
