She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
