Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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