1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
