She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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