i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
